On Seeking and Expressing Truth

My search for truth and the wish to be seen.

What’s the difference between creativity, intelligence and wisdom?

• A creative mind has the ability to see and feel what could be.
• An intelligent mind can see what is.
• A wise mind has the capacity to reconcile two contradicting truths at the same time.

If we only seek intelligence, as if there’s one absolute truth we might blind ourselves to contridiction and complexity in the world. All three perceptions are important to consider when trying to make sense of our nature in a more honest way.

In my own search for truth, for long as I could, I buried my emotional truth in name of a logical one. You know that feeling when everything looks good on paper but it just doesn’t “feel” right? That’s how it felt to deny my own lived experience.

It struck me one day like a freight train. In a meditation class the teacher asked “What do you wish for?” And a voice whispered back “Be seen.” It sent chills down my spine. I thought about those words and what exactly they meant. Beneath my search for truth I really want to be seen. I want to feel concrete proof of my existence. I want to know if I’m really here and where exactly I fit in. And I want to see others clearly too. In my search for truth I’m really seeking myself.

I have spent most of my life trying to do the exact opposite of allowing myself to be seen. I cropped my face out of photos. I refused to use social media. When people asked me how I was I said “I’m fine, you?” And I was fucking miserable.

There are some truths in this world that words alone cannot convey. They can’t be seen. They must be felt. First we have to be frank with ourselves and our choices. Once I began to find my truths I felt compelled to express them. To hold them in would be unbearable. Finding our truth is intertwined with our desire to be seen and express ourselves in the most authentic way possible.

As I continue my search for truth, I will honor my emotional truth as well. To know my truth is to be connected to my soul and no one can take that from me.